by Robin on November 28, 2008
Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it. - Hans Selye
You might be wondering, why are most of these posts about stress if the 21 day challenge is about setting and reaching goals? It’s because the number 1 reason people give for not being successful is …. you guessed it, STRESS.
So finding ways to reduce stress and increase our stress relieving and resiliency strategies will help us reach our important goals that are often left to linger on the back burner. One way my stress was relieved today came in the form of an email and an act of kindness. A client typed out the quote I was looking for from her own copy of “the little book of stress relief”. And so in order to pay that act of kindness forward I will include it here in this post.
First, what if our bodies were programmed to withstand or experience a set number of stress reactions over our lifetime, and when we exceeded that number, our bodies would be overwhelmed and pack it in and die? The idea has a certain logic to it. Think of a car motor. After a certain number of piston thrusts, motors just wear out. It’s not all that big a leap to think that our bodies have a finite capacity as well–after so many heartbeats, so much wear and tear, our time would be up.
The second part of the theory is that each of us has a different capacity to withstand repeated stress–a set number of stress reactions programmed into our bodies. My number might be 281000, yours might be 308000, and so on
Finally, although we each have a finite number of stress reactions, no one knows our own quota. If we accept this theory, it would be smart to ask ourselves which situations warrant the expenditure of one of our precious stress reactions. Say the movie you’re going to is sold out.is that worth using up one of your stress reactions? If your preschooler spills his juice, does that warrant a stress reaction? The world starts to look different if we can choose what we allow to upset us. And that is exactly what we can do! (Pgs 40-41).
One additional bonus this book offers is simply the photo on the cover. Scenic photos such as this one have been studied by psychologists and shown to have a positive effect on stress level (in that levels decrease). No time to relax, reduce or become more resilient today? Spend a few moments looking at this picture and practice your deep breathing.
by Robin on November 25, 2008
Stress is by far the number one issue my coaching clients want to talk about. We look at finding ways to reduce their stress and ways to find relief from their stress, but at some point I start a conversation about resiliency to stress. This is a three point plan I really believe in and I started to develop after years of working as a counsellor with people dealing with debilitating anxiety. The importance of resiliency is one of the reasons we have seen movements like meditation and yoga begin to thrive again. The techniques common to both of these practices will increase your bodies ability to deal with stress and help teach you to engage the “heal and repair” system in your body, your para-sympathetic nervous system.
Today’s question
If I KNOW that yoga or meditating will enhance my ability to deal with stress why don’t I make the time to fit it into my schedule?
Your resiliency strengths come from self-motivated, self-managed efforts to develop resiliency skills. Some people who hear or read about ways to become more resilient mistakenly think that the power lies in the recommended method. The go through the steps in a detached way thinking that the technique will make things better. Then then things don’t turn out well, they blame the technique for not working. This is like tossing a can opener at a can of food and then blaming the can opener when the can doesn’t open.
Al Siebert from The Resiliency Advantage: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure, and Bounce Back from Setbacks
In fact, many of us expect a strategy to work simply because we already know the strategy. You are probably familiar with the belief that “doctors make the worst patients”? This belief survives because those of us who have devoted our lives to helping others make changes are often pretty defensive about any failures to make our own. But I already KNOW that strategy I can hear myself whine after a long day of work. I have to remind myself that knowing isn’t the same as trying! At the same time, why do I hear Homer Simpson’s voice whining “but trying is the first step towards failure”! O.k. moving on.
The Challenge
Finding the time and the energy to make meaningful changes is a challenge. If you have any doubts that other people have trouble reaching goals just wander around your local books store or check out self help best sellers on-line or flip through the reality television line up. There is no secret formula that works across the board, try a variety of things and see which strategies are easiest, or the best fit for you. You might have to try something several times to see if you can make it work.
The Action
What strategy do you KNOW could work for you if only you would try it? Why not try that strategy even in some small way today?
The Commitment
What WILL you do? Now write it down, tell someone, send it to me in an email, pay for it in advance, anything to help you make it happen.
