“We are here on earth to do good for others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.” W.H. Auden
Yesterday we dealt with getting unstuck and with the new day brings more unexpected inspiration. My clients are “helpers” either by trade or by habit/personality. The kind of people who want to make the world a better place and are changing the world one person at a time. As a result many of them are a bit worn out and have little left at the end of each day with which to inspire themselves. They say “physician heal thyself” and laugh at the irony that they can help others through difficult times but find it almost impossible to reach their own goals.
Here are 3 things that inspired me today:
1. A friend sent me a link to this music video, I hope you have access to Youtube so you can see it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY
2. A client sent me the following Dr. Suess poem to congratulate me on getting past my “stuckness” yesterday and to prove that there is someone out there reading so I had better keep on going! It’s from the lovely book “Oh the Places you’ll go”.
“You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.”
3. Bill O’Hanlon. One of my favorite writers, therapists, workshop presenters and all round great guys. He can be found at www.brieftherapy.com and with his permission I have included an inspiring post from one of his news letters on “Developing a positive addiction”. Please click more to read from his newsletter.
Both of the following excerpts were written by Bill O’Hanlon. Thanks Bill for always being a source of inspiration!
Book of the month: Positive Addictionby William Glasser
If you gotta have an addiction, it might as well be a helpful, healthy one. Psychiatrist Glasser wrote this book in 1985, but it is still relevant. He noticed that people are either positively or negatively addicted and began to survey positively addicted people like runners and meditators. He discovered that it took a relatively long time (1-2 years) for runners to become addicted (and not all of them become addicted) and relatively short time (several months of daily practice) for meditators to become addicted. Since I have recently become a runner (and am not yet addicted), I found this understanding useful.
Developing Positive Addictions
Bill O’Hanlon, 223 N. Guadalupe #278, Santa Fe, NM 87501 USA
www.billohanlon.com, PossiBill@aol.com
Positive addiction: Any regularly repeated behavior that leads to positive outcomes; flow states that are repeated often enough to induce cravings for them and withdrawal if halted
1. At first, the activity is not easy or doesn’t feel that pleasurable. It takes some initial effort, commitment and willpower.
2. It is usually something that you think, believe or feel would be good for you.
3. You must persist past the “not wanting to do it” feeling and keep doing it regularly, usually for an hour each day, until it becomes addictive. This may take up to a year, but usually takes less time.
4. It is often helpful to develop rituals and a regular time to perform the activity.
5. Try, as much as possible, to accept that you are not going to be good or proficient at it and decrease or eliminate self-criticism (and shield yourself from the criticism from others until the positive addiction is well established).
6. You can typically tell when you’ve established the positive addiction when you find yourself having the urge or craving to do the activity that used to take effort, you miss it emotionally or physically when you don’t do it (or, put another way, you experience withdrawal) and you jealously guard the time it takes to do it.
List of some positive addictions: Running; meditating; gardening; reading; exercising; practicing, playing or performing music; learning; artistic pursuits of any kind; knitting or any handiwork/craftwork; birding; outdoor activities (hiking, skiing, boating, rock climbing, mountain climbing, etc.); walking; bike riding
Note: Any positive addiction done to excess, in which it causes physical harm, emotional distress, relationship problems, money problems, and so on, becomes less or not positive.
